Day 7- The Rocket-ship

I imagine a rocket-ship that has one-way travel to a kinder place.

A place where we don’t need to explain how black lives matter, why transgender people and immigrants make us great and why the poor deserve equal access to education and resources as the millionaire high on the hill.

This same rocket-ship takes me away from my dysfunctional relationship with my ex-husband and children’s father-away, quickly. Grappling with emotional weariness is daunting, at best. Escape is often the most reasonable solution in my head.

I won’t lie: I have contemplated irrational escape…as a teen, as a mother, as a wife. There’s disappointment in realizing there is no rocket-ship to take me away. Disappointment that this life requires work often without reward, compassion without reciprocation, consideration while doors are closing in your face and the driver in the next lane cusses you out….

I’m tired. I know so many people who are tired, weary, depleted…there is no rocket-ship.

Somehow, we have to learn to fly, and to fly right, on our own.

Advertisements

This Night

On this night, I rolled over waiting for the brown warmth of your skin to touch mine

like a secret mission I couldn’t tell you I needed you closer,but I moved in

making my way towards the place that feels most like home.

I feel this way most nights when you’re on your side and I’m on mine

don’t get me wrong I love my space

but I prefer you in it,

prefer you spend it making my body sing sweet and wet.

You know the language only my body speaks and when my mouth can’t find the words,

you finish my sentence, my thoughts.

Turn to this life we live and how I dreamed of it long before…

how it now feels over and just beginning all at once…

how the feeling of wholeness has absorbed all traces of the scraps left behind by those who were never worthy in the first place,

in the first moment when they were even considered…

this wholeness has been delivered by the warmth of your brown skin and protected by the sticky bliss that I lick from my lips after they have met yours.

It’s over….

I no longer have to wait, you have arrived and when it feels as tho the absence of anticipation might drag me down I realize my path has gotten wider,

enough room for you to walk beside me, tapering in short distances where you’ve carried me already…

my path has become much more than a way to my last days but a way to my last daze having spent it soaked in a love that couldn’t be topped by anything less than a spiritual exchange, a love resting gently in the stars, having waited to be plucked at that perfect moment-

my sky, my universe came to earth, manifested as man, my man…you hold my hand, I can’t seem to let you go, fading into you, into the moon….I’ll follow you….