Day 1-Outside My Window

I used to write like my life depended on it…then life got in the way. At the encouragement of my husband, my mother and my boss, I have decided to get back in the swing of things and write everyday for a year. I have carved out 15 minutes a day to get started. It is my hope that I can stick to my plan and achieve my goal of simply writing again, and writing well. I have 365 writing prompts ready to go…if you follow along this journey with me I appreciate your feedback and inspiration along the way. -N

Outside my window life is moving as though the world is not crumbling.

Outside my window it’s easy to pretend. Pretending can change your perspective, they say. I have always been stubborn and believe my perspective doesn’t need any changing.

Outside my window the birds are chirping. One of my tiniest joys, the birds sing even while the world is crumbling. Birds are singing when bombs go off in Afghanistan and no one stands shouting in the name of love and peace. Birds are singing when young brown men are assassinated in the streets that raised them and called them their own.

Outside my window the sun is shining. Forever grateful for the wash of bright light and the clean feeling of hope that sunshine can give. There’s a lump in my throat even as I smile at the sun. I believe in healing. I believe in what cannot be seen.

Outside my window an American flag blows in the breeze. My insides churn as I wrestle with what I know America to be and what I wish it was…there aren’t enough of us to combat the America we know these days. There aren’t enough of us. There just isn’t enough.

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Winter

Skin white as winter, hard to reach.

Crystals nestled under the bed of her nails.

A cry buried. Waiting. A scream so necessary yet she simply cannot fix her mouth to make a noise.

If I touch you, will you break? Shattered. Among the rubble, the ruin…winter.

Strewn about, perplexed by Beauty. Light.

Free. It’s Yours.

Take this. Your grimace confirms your worth.

Again, waiting ever so patiently. Cold piling up all around.

Cold in numbers reminiscent of grains of sand in a desert so vast…one cannot see, winter.

Gil told you about winter. In America. How can it be so cold?

America. The healers have gone.

Your grimace confirms your worth.

 

 

 

 

 

Untitled #3

God
Everybody wants to pontificate
Eyes rolling
I mean like gawd
Everybody wants to pontificate
Perpetrate some sort of fraud
Speculate on another’s character
In retort, the witty

(unpredictable shots is critical to analytical analogy)

work to create the very best in social media posts, flanked with hashtags
saved in eternity.

Can’t you see this is spiritual?!
God…
breath ragged
in my mind I have started revolutions.
I just can’t seem to stick with the cause
it burdens my brain
when I just wanna be
free.

Untitled

I fought for you…
I allowed my guard to leave its post..I stand unprotected.
Yet, I am willing to lay down my arms for you…my scars obvious,
Evidence in the tears that soak your shirt..I feel at home here…
listening to your heart beat, praying it spoke my name,
constant, repeating, repeating, repeating a rhythm only I can hear.
I am listening, anxious and forgiven…
apologies for standing in the rain when its you that has called me to shelter.
My mouth pursed to scream out how sorry I am for falling against the weight of this easy love.
No, no, no apologies, nirvana…
I am most alive against your skin.
I can breathe when you share your breath with me..I can taste the life that escapes your lips,
sweet indica and promises of days ahead to get me through this moment right now…
I struggle to feel worthy though I am begging you to keep from going numb to this…
Faded, this pain in my chest seems to swallow me on most occasions.
Sitting at the edge of the bed, seemingly worlds away…
merely praying for that hands that tie my thoughts to let me go, loosen the grip…
let me get lost in a place unseen until your eyes invited me in…don’t remind me how fragile, how temporary-
this all could be- the last love I ever know, a matter of perspective and I am unable to change the view-after all, I fought for you….